‎”We can never exhaust the multiplicity of nuances and subtleties, which make the charm of music. How can we expect to produce a vital performance if we don’t recreate the work everytime? Every year the leaves of the trees reappear with the spring but they are different every time.”

- Pablo Casals

As the New Year opens up I feel the shift from the darkness of winter retreat towards a desire to open to the world, to gaze to the horizon of infinite of possibilities. This posture, Parivtta Janu Sirsasana, turns us towards the sky, and as B.K.S. Iyengar says, towards the stars. Can we gaze freshly? Can we find new meaning, a different approach, a more integrated experience in our practice?

I have just performed my ARCT piano performance exam with the Royal Conservatory Toronto. Never in my life have I prepared so hard for something and taken on such a challenge. It really defined the essence of practice- to rework, to rethink, to recreate something day after day until you know it inside out, backwards and forwards, in all it’s subtleties and intricacies.

I have been thinking a lot about peak experiences and the moments in our life when we push ourselves to the limit. In my 20′s I spent a lot of time trekking in Nepal. On one trip I had to climb a pass on the north side of Annapurna which was close to 18,000 feet, in very dangerous avalanche prone terrain. We had to get up at 4 in the morning, start climbing in the dark, my stomach was queasy, the altitude making it hard to breathe…and here you are having this unbelievable life experience, but you feel like crap and your whole being is pushed to the edge! The exam was very similar to that!! I found my edge…

I have yet to find out my results. However, for me, it’s not about the mark. It is about the totality of the experience, the beauty of the music, the sense of coming full circle and attaining a dream I have had since I was a teenager…and to have experienced such unbelievable support from so many people.

When Maurice Herzog became the first climber to successfully summit Annapurna in 1950, he wrote a famous book which ended with these lines:

“Annapurna, to which we had gone empty handed, was a treasure on which we should live the rest of our days. With this realization we turn the page: a new life begins. There are other Annapurnas in the lives of men.” -Maurice Herzog (born January 15th, 1919)

I have now climbed my Annapurna, and I didn’t have to lose all my fingers and toes to frostbite…and yes, my brain asks, did I pass? Would I do it again? For now, I am going to just rest, gaze at the stars and practice lots of yoga….

I know a cure for sadness-
Let your hands touch
something that
makes your eyes smile. I bet there are a hundred
objects close by that can do
that. Look at
beauty’s gift to us- her power is so great she enlivens the earth, the sky, our
soul.   —Mira

As we dive into the darkness of fall, I am comforted by the prospect of long hours to practice, to warm up the home with beautiful food, friends, family and music…

This fall has already been a remarkable time to learn, to devote myself to my two passions of yoga and music. I have taken a leave of absence from my public studio classes so that I may prepare for the ARCT piano performance exam with the Royal Conservatory of Toronto. I have been given so much support from students, colleagues and teachers…Thank you so much!

Having only gotten back into playing the piano five years ago, after a 14 year hiatus while raising children and doing hoards of yoga, I am thrilled to be at the cusp of achieving a life long dream! Here is the last section of a Beethoven Sonata that I have been working on for two years. I could never be where I am without yoga…learning how to breathe, to calm the nervous system, to stay in the heat of the moment, releasing unnecessary tension….and of course celebrating the beauty of life!

if you want to know more about this piece, read “Buddhism and Beethoven” on the “Yoga and Music Ponderings” page…

-Rumi

“In truth we are not separate from each other, or from the world, from the whole earth, the sun or moon or billions of stars, not separate from the entire universe. Listening silently in quiet wonderment, without knowing anything, there is just one mysterious, palpitating aliveness.”

-Toni Packer